The psychologist at Stanford G2P has encouraged me to write. So, write I shall.
The biggest news is, of course, the COVID-19 pandemic, and the government suggested social distancing. My parents think this is some kind of government conspiracy to keep people afraid while our rights are being taken away. However, a few days ago, I read in a paper that the death toll was over 65,000 people--that's a hellva lot more than the flu (typically around 10,000 to 20,000 people each year). Have we see the worst of the coronavirus?
I'm back at Stanford G2P, and the voices have decreased, but the depression and anxiety is still very real.
How did this slide down into hell begin?
Sleep deprivation.
I got a new puppy, Hope, and was ill prepared to deal with a bundle of joy and energy. When I first got her, I thought to myself that I had made the biggest bad decision of my life. Now, I miss her like crazy while I'm in the hospital. But she didn't sleep well at first, sometimes not settling down until 12am and then up again at 4am. Some nights I was up every couple of hours.
Hope has been a great pleasure, but also a lot of stress. After getting her from Gainesville, TX, on February 16th (she was shipped out to California), I noticed my mood dip lower and lower.
So, here I am, back in the hospital, dealing with suicidal ideations and depression and anxiety.
