FINALLY

The LSU Professor and I, after apologies from both sides, have resumed emailing each other again (he's currently in Australia). I sent him the entire email conversation I had with Morpheus on Jan 10, 2018.

His response:

"This sucks. But at least he's FINALLY clear to you, and the honesty he needed to use, to match your level of honesty...I'm sorry for your dreams of u and [Morpheus]..."

Why do we assume when someone is hurtful that he/she is being truthful? It's like always discounting those compliments you receive. It's not true, it's someone being nice. 

I don't have much doubt that Morpheus means what he says. He doesn't want me in his life, but I sent to the LSU Professor all the ways that Morpheus was lying in that tiny conversation. He lied. If he lied about one thing, how do you know what is the truth from the bullshit?

You mean to tell me that Morpheus harbored those feelings for years, tucked them away in his jacket pocket, just revealing the depths of his dislike for me--because he was afraid of hurting my feelings-- until one day, one special day, he had finally had enough: he was officially sick of me and my emails, and he wanted to be done with it! Finally!

I am done with you. I no longer find you attractive or witty or useful in any sense, and I've felt this way for a long time, and I just didn't know how to tell you, how to be a gentleman about it because I could hurt your feelings, and I don't ever want to hurt your feelings until today and today, yes today, I will no longer be held back by common decency. 


Deep down, I was just a toy he played with for his musings.