More From Tinder, Part II

James, I'm very tired from all that fucking. It might have just been easier to learn to spell.

More From Tinder

From James, "Did you know it [Forrest Gump] was a boook [sic]?"

Me: "Yes I never read it though"

James: "Can you read?"

No, I have them all fooled. Grade school teachers, professors, friends, family. I cheated, I fucked who I had to fuck to graduate high school, and then, of course, I banged the entire Animal Science department to become a Junior at CAl Poly.

Getting Out, Thanks to Tinder, Part II

Eh. I cancelled my "date" tonight.

I didn't feel like dressing up, and figuring out how to fire off enough questions at someone to keep him entertain for a few hours.

Plus, I keep having this thought, I use to get paid for this shit.

Trying On Tinder, Part II

More.

This time from Keenan.

Keenan: "do you want to hook up?"

All I've seen is his picture. And I know he's legal to drink. Thank you, but I think I'll pass.

Trying On Tinder

So, I recently joined Tinder because I was curious about the app, and what I must say is that the creep factor is high.

For instance, one exchange.

Ryan: "What are your plans for today?"

Me: "Homework and housework :-)

You?"

Ryan: "If you message me your phone number I will show you :)"

I'm not quite sure what that means, but I don't want any part of it.

AGain, another exchange, talking about my last boyfriend, who was technically Hades, with a Tinder member named David--explaining that the relationship ended mostly because Hades and I were in love with other people.

Me: "No, it's okay. I was in love with someone else too."

Dave: "How is that possible, you hadn't met me in 2010...unless you are a stalker..."

Really? It's not cool to throw stalker jokes around unless you've known the person for a while. And if you want someone to fall in love with you, that's great--but keep it to yourself for the first few weeks, or months--or years.

I think I'd rather just drink at a bar, and see what happens.

Get Over It Already, Part II

"What your grandma doesn't appreciate is that you're a writer, and writers never get over anything."

--Harry

Get Over It Already

I don't know why I said it.

Grandma and I were both watching TV. I popped off with, "Yeah, and the love of my life is married to someone else..."

Grandma replies, "That happens to a lot of people, and then they get over it."