LIes and Breaking Each Other's Hearts

I went out with Lucky last night, and met up with him at a bar downtown Yuppieville. He was already drinking by the time I got there.

Everything was normal or usual in the beginning. WE just talked chit-chat, about our lives, who was doing what. Finally, the topic turned deep.

I asked him if there was ever a woman he trusted.

He said, "I never trusted you."

I asked him why.

HE said, "Remember that night you were in Santa Barbara..." He was talking about back in 2006 while we were still together, but fighting at the time.

He was referring to the night I was in Huntington Beach where I was visiting a client, and I was paid $500 for full service. Lucky called me while I was with the client. While returning Lucky's phone call, I lied about what I was doing that far south. I told him I was day catch riding.

Even then, he didn't believe me, but he let the subject drop at the time.

The next day, he dumped me.

He brought up many times over the years what I was doing that night--really--but I never answered.

Last night, I decided if he wanted to know the truth, perhaps he should although I couldn't see it doing anything but just more harm.

I left the bar without answering, again, about what I was doing that particular night, but it kept nagging at me.

I sent him  a TXT-message, "Its a shame you don't trust me but for years I cared for you deeply and for years I felt guilty over that night. I was driving home from Huntington Beach when you called. I was paid to sleep with a man. I needed the money for car insurance. It was the first time I was paid for having sex. Now you know the truth. Do you feel better knowing?"

He sent a TXT-message back, "Yes thank you. I trust you more now."

That was an almost perfect response, but of course, he had to fuck it up.

He sent another hours later. "I am sorry for breaking your heart in the first place, and now I feel like I just break your heart even more every time we hang out, but I know what I felt at the time and I was right."