No Coke, Ritalin

 "The drug screen tested positive for cocaine," the ER doctor tells me. 

"I don't do coke," I reply honestly. Who is she going to believe: an impersonal test or me?

 "I'm just saying that using coke will aggrivate your condition."

 But no one really knows what happened. 

 It all started when I was in line at the local pharmacy, and while paying for my father's drugs, I fainted. First, I heard my heart thumping, and then it went dark. I came to on the floor of the grocery store. Two of the assistants at the pharmacy stayed on the floor with me, one of them calmly rubbing my arm. The other dialed my father. 

When I arrived at the ER and explained what happened, I was told there were no beds available, but that the in-take nurse would perform an EKG while we waited for a room. 

She never completed the EGK, she just hooked me up to the blood pressure cuff and saw that my pulse was 195. The in take nurse grabbed a wheelchair, and drove me to the back with one empty bed. Soon, I had doctors and nurses swarming around me. They stuck paddles to my chest, telling me if the drugs they are about to give me don't work, they will have to electrocute my heart. 

"That's sounds scary," I commented. 

"Oh, that's just because you haven't had it done before," the nurse said, trying to console me. 

They started an IV, gave me the drug, and watched to make sure it was effective. After a little while, the room was cleared except for one nurse, and while leaving they said they were watching me through the monitors.  They seemed satisfied that I wasn't going to die or have a heartattack. 

As they were going to discharge me, they said for me to stay away from the stimulants, caffeine for starters, and to make an appointment with a cardiologist. 

While I was in the Stanford hospital, just weeks before, my psychiatrist started me on Ritalin, and it worked very well. I got a boost in mood and in energy. At moments, I felt like myself, the me before the disease got real bad in 2011. But, alas, one of the Stanford doctors, a woman I've known since my first admission, saw that the Ritalin was increasing my TD symptoms (a movement disorder called Tardive dyskinesia), and that the drug was causing the stiffness in my neck, which was causing headaches. Despite these side effects, I wanted to keep taking it. The doctors put me on Provigil for a start while, but I felt no benefits.

My regular psychiatrist decided to try the Ritalin again with a drug that specifically targets TD symptoms. I last left a message with him telling him what the ER doctors recommended, and that while the tachycardia  might be a one time phenomenon, I wanted to be cleared by a cardiologist.