K

It's been what? Two years and seven months, some odd days--

I have no idea why on that particular day that I checked Facebook to see if Morpheus had an account. But he did. He was recently added (a profile that was only a few months old from the looks of it). The only information that can be gleaned from his profile is that he's single and he's grown a beard. 

To be honest, it was too much temptation for me. I sent him a PM. Deleted it. Another PM. Deleted it. Finally, Harry convinced me to just leave up a message long enough for him to answer it. 

So, I wrote this: "Hi, I want to respect your boundaries but also let you know the door is open on my end. May we be friends on Facebook?"

Four days later, I received this reply: "K"

(Facebook then told me that "you can now call each other and see information like Active Status and when you've read messages.")

On August 31st, I sent another message telling him that my contact information was still good. And left my cellphone number and email address.

A part of me wishes I wouldn't have done that. After all, during that two year and seventh month period, he could have contacted me at any point. I don't buy the argument that he was afraid I was angry with him. That wouldn't stop him. 

A part of me wonders if I'm not that ex, the one who won't take a hint, keeps bugging the other person, maybe even harassment. I had to block Elijah. He was treating me with such disrespect that even I was aware of it. He wanted sex without actually talking to me or apologizing for the things he said when I told his father that he was suicidal. My doctors told me to never speak to him again. 

A part of me wonders if I'm pathetic. A long time has passed, and I'm not over him. I still think about him every day, and waiting for a response makes that anxiety worse.