I did write in my last email to IP that I felt like my admission this time around can possibly be coming to a close. I say this with caution, and I hope I expressed that with IP.
I recognized that the voices, the auditory hallucinations have not improved, and at certain times of the day, have gotten worse. James thrives on my feelings of embarrassment around the romantic transference. He thinks it's funnier than hell.
The depression is still an 8/10. It has been at that level since the beginning of the admission.
What has improved is my suicidality. I do think about suicide, but I do not intend on completing the act as soon as I get home. That has shifted. If that's enough for IP to discharge me, then I will agree to that.
I would rather have it be my idea, and under my control and what I want, then to be surprised by the team, and forced out. Also, there are other reasons for discharge. I would like to be home for Mother's Day, writers' group, and I need to give back my damaged phone, or they will charge me over $300 (this can be negotiated, but still, I would like to get my new phone).
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