Because Metaphors Are Bad, Part II

Of course, you want your friends to be honest with you--what else are friends for? Harry's feedback was not unsolicited. He asked to see the short story, and I responded that I wanted his criticism.

We know walking up to a friend and saying, "You look fat today" is at the least rude, and at the most also cruel, especially if said friend has an eating disorder of some type (although all women suffer from feelings of negative self-image, to varying degrees).

If a friend asks you, "Do I look fat today?" And said friend is overweight, the friend knows he/she is overweight, you don't need to remind him/her, "Yes, you look fat today...by the way, that sweater on you sucks."

This is the rationale as to why I very rarely give negative feedback on writing. Most novice writers (at writers' group and in class) understand that they have room for improvement. Coming down on them hard with lots of criticism doesn't do any good--it just discourages them from wanting to strive and become more advanced. In everyone's writing, there is at least one positive thing to say. If I have a negative comment, I try to frame it in a question, to make it easier to digest. In the end, it's not my job to instruct any writer--that's for the professors and for the editors.

That being said, how can we ever improve if someone doesn't tell us what areas we need to improve in? The vast majority of writing I read, I dislike. Often, I even think that certain articles in the New York Times are lacking, but I'm not sure anyone would care if I wrote to the Editor, and explained that to him. People who are successful in writing, who have fans and a following (no matter how few), well, I probably shouldn't go up to them and say, "By the way, just from me, you suck." Why? Because obviously the writing has an appeal that perhaps I just don't understand or just can't see. Most people think that writing at the New York Times is some of the best in the world. If I think it needs more creativity (I'm thinking primarily of the Modern Love column), well, I simply could be wrong.

In other words, I keep my negative views to myself, for good reason.

Again, I haven't been able to get published in the New York Times, and I don't have fans and/or a following, so why shouldn't my fellow writers comment on my work? I don't have a good answer to that. All I know is that when you're fat, you don't need your friends to tell you you're fat even if you ask, "How do I look today?"

Hmmm...perfect, babe.