Some people will say that I must miss the sex, if anything.
With as many medications I'm on, I rarely even think about it. I remember earlier days when I was compulsive about it, but those were my twenties, and--sigh--I've gotten older. I'm no longer manic or hypomanic. While moving, I found a box of old business cards from the Agency. In the picture, I was lying down in lacy black panties. Who would think that at some point, that was me?
Who would have thought that girl would book the most shows, top of the gorgeous girl pile?
If I was fifty pounds lighter, I would probably go back to dancing, at least while I still could. Back in the days when I was hit on all night long. I didn't pay attention to the men, the men paid attention to me.
Maybe I use the weight gain, the fat, to hide behind. I've wondered about that. Men don't notice me now, and if they do, they don't say anything.
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