I came from a very conservative background (both parents are staunch Republicans, my father even supports Trump and, of course, I went to a Christian school from kindergarten until junior year of high school). Despite all of this, I turned a one-eighty and became very liberal as a seventeen-year-old. I denied the existence of God or Christ; I was an atheist. I believed in ideas like abortion and gay rights. One year of public school, I was completely changed.
The falling out of these family-held values came with the onset of moderate-to-severe depression. There's a direct correlation. I lost my faith in God because He wantonly let me suffer in silence. Who could praise a supernatural being who allowed and created people to be stricken with depression and other mental disorders? What cruelty was this?
My previous teachers would always cite "original sin," the Fall of Man, that we ourselves made up the horrible world we live in--that it's our fault. God gave us free will, and this is how we used it.
But does God really stand by and witness violent acts of abuse, molestation, rape and murder, and does He sit on his throne unmoved? Does He point the finger like a six-year-old bratty child?
When inflicted with depression (whether unipolar or bipolar), life becomes dark. You only see the ugliness of the world, none of the beauty, and in this, you lose your will to live because there's nothing worth living for--even if you have a house or a family or a caring group of friends, this is negligible because they secretly display contempt for you, for you and your lornful ways. You are an outcast, an alien, someone with no ties. You drift until you sink.
No comments:
Post a Comment