The Speed of Pain

--Marilyn Manson

"Just remember when you think you're free..."

The first thing I realized--I wanted a drink--

The community college campus is relatively small, and I'm there on campus everyday for hours on end. During the past four weeks, I've ran into all my former English professors--the Poetry Professor, my Engl 201B professor (now my Creative Writing Professor), and my Engl 201C Professor (who is now my World Lit Professor). Everyone except the English instructor--

Until today.

He's easy to spot. He's taller than everyone, and he has this signature stride, very long like a gangly  three-year-old Thoroughbred, fresh on the track, overconfident and striking.

I spotted him many feet away, and I knew I was easily recognizable--I have my dog always with me. So, I stopped at a patch of grass, and pretended to be occupied by Beck--I looked down at her, petted her head and her ears.

The English instructor disappeared behind one of the faculty buildings.

I ignored him, and he did the same.

Seeing him was like being squeezed around the heart, quickly losing oxygen and suffocating, a struggle for something clear and definitive, preferring a sharp pain to the dull.