This Conversation is Officially Over

"Question: have you ever physically hurt anyone you cared about?"

--TXT-message from a professor at the University who I found on Bumble

Usually, I wouldn't disclose my illness on the first date, but the guy did mention that his bipolar ex-girlfriend did try to kill him. "It wasn't her fault," he tells me. "It was her illness."

"Did I do or say something wrong?" He TXT-messages me after we got done meeting at the bar.

"No, you were great. But I'm wondering how you will take this bit of news."

"What?"

"I have schizoaffective disorder - bipolar type. If you don't know what that is, I can explain it to you."

"I know what it is...I figured before I met you."

What? Did my picture on my profile have the face of a bipolar woman? "Figured what?"

"Bipolar. Remember I grew up with a psychiatrist and almost have a PhD in neurology."

"Well, schizoaffective disorder is a little more complicated than just bipolar disorder...It includes elements of schizophrenia." You talk like a smart asshole, and I can talk down to you too. Ha.

"Ok...So what do you want..."

"I don't want anything. Just thought you should know because you have to determine if that's the kind of person you want in your life." Part of this doesn't settle well with me, but I say it anyway. It's like apologizing for something that isn't your fault just to ease someone else's conscience. People with mental illness deserve to be seen for the unique creatures they are. They have their strengths and their insights, and, let's face it, someone with bipolar disorder can be a lot of fun.

Then, he starts asking me if I take medication (yes!), and what do I take, you know personal questions that someone who you've just met once in your life should never ask because it's none of his fucking business. But anyway. I appease him.

Then, finally, the bomb: "Question: have you ever physically hurt anyone you cared about?"

For us educated folk, we know that people with mental illness are much more likely to be victims of violent crime than the perpetrators. But nevermind, because he almost has his Ph.D.

Then, he keeps sending me TXT-messages because I haven't come up with a good response (at least I haven't found a polite one).

"Will you answer??"

"Hello?????"

Finally, I decide: "This conversation is over. Thanks for the drinks."

So much for fucking an University professor (one of my fantasies).

His response: "Wow. So much for open communication."