Send the Fucking Love Letter

Even the LSU Professor tells me to not deal with "absolutes," i.e. don't tell the English instructor you're not going to write him when everyone knows that eventually, your guard will be lowered, and you'll send a stupid email sometime around 11:00pm after you've been alone for a while and drinking. So, my best friend thinks that I can't hold to my word (this is probably because for years I've been determined to cut all communication with Morpheus, and year after year, I never manage to do it).

The LSU Professor also thinks that it's too late to not fall in love with him (the English instructor). He says the bullet has already lodged itself in my chest.

I, of course, disagree because I operate on some personal delusion that at this point, I can just walk away (politely, of course), and never get hurt because of him. Like two innocent strangers meeting over a tasty craft beer at a local bar. They eye each other, one of them flirts to see if the other is interested, and when no one makes a move, they both just go to their respective homes and pout--and vomit and deal with a hangover the next morning.

I only wrote that stupid fucking email (where I said I was falling in love with him) because I had the unfortunate and misguided notion that he had a primary relationship already established. You don't go around writing love letters to people who are actually single because if you honest-to-god want to date another single individual, you save your declarations of love for the proper time (usually weeks or even months into a real relationship), you don't just blurt it out. You only embarrass yourself when you feel doomed to begin with (I could be doomed anyway, but alas!). Hence, my mistake. It probably would have been easier to talk the man into a cup of coffee if he was under the unfortunate and mistaken notion that I wasn't attracted to him, and was completely free of any and all emotions. People find stoicism very comforting, which is why it's so popular, and passed down from one generation to another. It is useful. If you want to force someone to reject you because you believe he/she will reject you later anyway, fine, send the fucking love letter.