Secrets

Written originally on October 9, 2009 at 12:45pm

"You never told him?" The therapist asks, tilting her head more to meet my gaze as I'm staring off towards the door of  the room.

"No," I answer flatly.

"Do you want to tell him?"

I tear up, and I stop myself. I just shake my head. I know from the way she poses the question that she believes I should, only there's some secrets you can't give away, no matter what type of relationship you have with this person. Some burdens you just carry on your own. In this way, romantic relationships are more isolating than friendships because when you're in love, you're trying to be the person who will allow you to receive the most love and support and affection--and the you who's ugly and selfish, well, you keep her pushed out of your mind. You cut yourself up into pieces, he will swallow you better this way.