"...that if I didn't believe in life, if I lost faith in the woman I love, lost faith in the order of things, were convinced in fact that everything is a disorderly, damnable, and perhaps devil-ridden chaos, if I were struck by every horror of man's disillusionment--still I should want to live and, having once tasted that cup, I would not turn away from it till I had drained it! At thirty though, I shall be sure to leave the cup, even if I've not emptied it, and turn away--where I don't know. But till I am thirty, I know that my youth will triumph over everything--every disillusionment, every disgust with life. I've asked myself many times whether there is in the world any despair that would overcome this frantic and perhaps unseemly thirt for life in me, and I've come to the conclusion that there isn't, that is till I am thirty, and then I shall lose it of myself I fancy."
--pg. 212 of The Brothers Zaramazov
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