While I Perish Beside the Sea

"There won't be another one like it," the poetry professor says. "But the odds are you won't win, just because that's the way these contests go, not having anything to do with the quality of your work."

Which makes me wonder why I'm avoiding doing other types of homework (I'm still behind in my COMM freedom of speech project by about three weeks) in order to write an essay, hopefully one I'm proud of, with the idea that it will never be published and all will be lost!

"I wouldn't water it down for the sake of your audience," the poetry professors tells me at some point, which is what I wanted to hear. I wanted to be given the freedom to write all the nonsense I desired, as I explained to the poetry professor, I love the sound of my own voice.

In the beginning of the essay, I quote the English instructor, and probably the best poem I've ever seen of his. I quote the most easily understandable portion, even though with just those few lines, you can't really determine that it's a poem about suicide. The subject of death by one's own hands is romantized by him, but I still feel like it's a beautiful piece. This way, if I'm published, he's published, and everyone who writes wants to be published by the New York Times at some point in his/her lifetime. It's a minor way of saying thank you.

I don't think that the Times will skip over my essay because "it's not good enough," I worry more about the fact that the essay isn't appropriate, either because of the language and the extensive length of metaphors and symbolism (Morpheus' name in there is "Hunter," get it? Right?) or because of the subject material. And, of course, the essay has to resonate emotionally with the audience and/or the judges of the contest. They may feel that the style is wonderful, but if they don't connect or see value in the characters, they'll quickly become bored and pass over it to the next contestant. I think it's important because I lived through it, but you have to make it important to complete strangers, who may have a hard time connecting psychologically and sympathizing with a sex worker.