Signed "Me"

"Maybe it's some other [Morpheus' first and last name]," I say to myself as I get up out of bed. There's a suspicious email in my inbox.

His message was signed a casual ":) me." In fact, there were quite a few smiley faces in there. He said that because he broke his phone, he lost his contacts, and wanted my number again. So, I wrote back with my two numbers (one home and the other cellphone), and asked him how he was doing. A couple minutes later my phone rang two or three times, and then quit. It was Morpheus.

Yesterday, I declared to the LSU Professor (our first conversation since our fight) that I didn't care if I ever heard from Morpheus again, that no matter what happened, my questions couldn't be answered--that Morpheus couldn't make me feel better. I would also be left with this wondering. I told the LSU Professor that occasionally, I thought about contacting him, but I was able to ward those thoughts off.

When the LSU Professor was honest, he told me frankly that he thought Morpheus was abusive to me, and that like some women who are abused, I justified his behavior, and seemingly overlooked it. I make excuses for him. I don't see him as he really is. And this, of course, made The LSU Professor very angry, just like "if you kicked Beck." I've never kicked my own dog. I've kicked at her because tugs on the leash hadn't gotten her attention. For abuse, the relationship I have with Morpheus really doesn't fit the mold. He doesn't demand commitment, he doesn't shower me with gifts and attention to win me over, and he doesn't tell me that I can't see my friends or my family. He rarely insults me (so rare that I can only think of two occasions in which he did). He never raises his voice, much less a hand. Sure, he's charming and he has lied to me, but a lot of people are guilty of that--that doesn't make them psychopaths or abusive.

I feel like the LSU Professor's assessment is a little overblown. No one likes to see his/her friends being treated unfairly. No one likes it when his/her friends are sad or upset over a lover. I can understand his reaction.

The LSU Professor did apologize, though, so we were able to move forward.