My mother ordered me three pairs of leather English riding boots (but no one actually rides in them, it's just the style). When they arrived, she wanted me to try them on.
I put the tan pair on, and tried to zip them up my calf. I couldn't--my calf was too fat. "Send them back," I say saltedly. I went into my bedroom, and shut the door.
"You need a wide calf," was her only reply.
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